summer time is funer time (What goes through my head.)

11:26-11:32 Sunday Febuary 5th, 2012

Right now im so happy. I found my cat (who doesnt really like me) sleeping in my bed when i came up stairs to lay down. He’s now purring and sleeping with me, he never does this and also my dog is laying next to me. Im just so happy, I love them so much. I seriously love them to death. Whenever my dog dies im going to lock myself in my closet and cry for a year. Like honestly I think i’ll be so depressed that i’ll have to be put on medication, he is my BEST friend. I love him so much there aren’t words to describe it. Im so happy.

12:20-12:26 Tuesday Febuary 7th, 2012

My friends bad at me. I didn’t do anything wrong to her so it’s not fair. She one of my best friends and I don’t want to hurt her, but what shes making me choose isn’t fair. I don’t know what to do. I want to be her best friend again, but I want to be able to be friends with whomever I please. Gosh, im just so frustrated. I can’t even sit at my old lunch table cause she sits there, I tried to go up and talk to her but I was going home with my other friend and she came up to me right as I was gonna go up and talk to her and she walked somewhere and I couldnt find her. Chance blown. I hate conflict. I hate it so much no one can even understand, I don’t do well with drama. I just want this to be over. But it’s still not fair, I love her to death and we have so much fun together, and shes one of the few friends I completely trust, but I like the other girl to and I think it would be fun to be friends just to have different friend groups. I don’t know. I hate this.

12:19-12:27 Wednesday Febuary 8th, 2012

My pshyco brother just came running to my room banging on the dorr telling me to let my dog out so he could have him. I didn’t let him have it to he proceded to banging and kicking and everything, not to mention but hes 17 almost 18. I start jumping on my floor cause my room is directly above my moms so i can wake her up to come help me while i amcalling her. This goes on for a while then he starts taking my door off it hindges. SO i take my dog and computer and phone and put it in my closet and a factor i didnt realize is that i dont have a lock on my closet door like my old room (i moved rooms in my house in september). So im having to hold it. then my mom comes in and starts dealing with him and he is scfreaming saying he wants the dog, no fuck dip shit, i want the dog to you wouldnt be doing this if you didnt want the dog. Moral of the story, I hate him. ALSO OH MY FUCKING GOD HE FUCKING SEARCHED MY ROOM AND FOUND CONDOMS IN MY ROOM THE I DIDNT THINK MY FRIEND WOULD BUY AT A GAS STATION BUT THEN SHE DID AND SHE CAME AND TOOK THEM. NOW SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME ADN SHE PROBABLY IS GOING TO TALK TO MY FRIENDS PARENTS ABOUT IT I FUCKING HATE HIM TO BAD ONE OF THEM WAS HIIIIIIISSSS THAT I TOOK FROM HIS ROOM. WHAT FUCK FACE. GOD I fucking HATE him. and everyone. every fucking one.

10:57 Saturdays Febuary 11, 2012

Went to a party tonight, was fun. Had to walk home (like mile) in 30 degree weather blah, sucked. Now my friend is tried and doesn’t feel good cause shes tired and has a headache and so shes asleep and im up alone, i want to go home. Im super thirsty and she has a Dr. Pepper in her room but she said she’d get pissed if I touch it, and I don’t know her family that well so I dont want to walk out there in case i see someone. Yup, stuck in here. I hate my mom. Ugh, long story but im tired of her bullshit. seriously I did nothing wrong. NOTHING. AT. ALL. seriously it pisses me off that i always get in trouble because of other people and they never do. Does this even make sence? I literally yelled at my brother because he had been dong everything in his physical mind to try andpiss me off, adn he finally did and he stepped on my only pair of new uggs i got for christmas and worn like 5 times with his dirty basketball shoes and it’s my fault i yelled at him? I don’t have that money to buy new uggs? are you kidding I have no money for anything. And of course she pitys him cause he doesnt go out cause he doesnt invite people over or make plans or have friends. But since i do its my fault and he never gets punished. fuck everyone, seriously.